...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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