Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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