i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
