yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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