She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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