I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
