I wannas sexs uuuuu
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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