Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
