ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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