You really coming over, don't trick.
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I miss vodka workout Fridays
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
