Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
