...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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