I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
