Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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