oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
