Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Girls should come with a carfax report
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
