her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
How's work?
Spinning.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
