we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Alive.
So much puke
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
