I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
