I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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