Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
worst night to have a conscience
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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