We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
