Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
