I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
