I'll bet she douches with gravy.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
