I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
