I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
