Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
