he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
