Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
don't judge my taste in strippers
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
