i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I need moral support for this bender
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
