Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
