My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
He has the fingertips of a God
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
