It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
