Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
