no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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