We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
