just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
