This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Never joke about your clitoris.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
