So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
