Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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