dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
