The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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