i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
