Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Another day, another engagement, another cat
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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