If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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