Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
