Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
you inspire me to be a worse person
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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