i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
