Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
