We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
