Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
