I am in a vortex of obligation.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
