i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
