I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I love you. Go after that dick
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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